omgsh mikey

. The noise of the clicking clock echoed through the empty home. A single snore came with every minute that passed. A boy released these hallow, moan, grunts. At fifteen, ...

I don't know how I feel about the two paragraphs about Ebony and Jack. The seem a little unnecessary and there to take up space. Maybe if you managed to ...

He sat at the opposite end of the couch, [s]inhaling on[/s] "smoking" would seem more appropriate his cigarette and playing with my cell phone. I watched him coyly, silently, nearly ...

I'm not sure anyone else covered this: When you have dialogue, each time someone speaks, it gets it's own line, i.e., “Apparently you weren’t too old for it two weeks ...

I really enjoyed this piece. I felt like I could really relate to Sydney, even though she's much much smarter than I am. Shane came off as really creepy, but ...

Negative: The language, at times, seemed very awkward and tense. They were very formal all the time and it got kind of annoying after a while. At times the piece ...

It's good, but I'm not much of a fan of second person. Ok, well, there wasn't many mistakes that I saw. I wasn't digging the "..." in front and after ...

That was beautiful. Man, I wish I could write like you. That was just... breathtaking. Wow. You need to get published. And make a lot of money. I'd buy your ...

I really enjoyed this piece. It was definitely true. I've gotten reviews like that on other sites and I've wanted to rip someone's brains out, but then I always remind ...

I really liked the story, but there was something I didn't like. It was in present tense. I usually don't have a problem with this, but there were some points ...

Hey! Very nice update. I'd do a full critique, but I didn't see anything that the other two haven't critiqued first. I don't want to echo. The pace of the ...

Then, of course, things didn’t go too well with Johnny and his white dragon and he ended up [six feet deep]

“Here you go, Mrs. Hue.” She said with a bright grin. Slowly, her teacher extended her hand and grasped the paper; There should be a period, not a semi colon. ...

That was really good. I especially liked the last bit of the story. Um... there were few errors concerning grammar, but that's ok. There weren't many. I like how the ...

I have one question though...you said she's sixteen, and her mother is thirteen? Step-mom or something? You might want to say that. She said thirtieth, not thirteen. =D Anyway, I ...